T H I R T Y
HIS HEAD TURNS, BUT THE ORDERLY PUSHES
him away so fast, there’s no chance for him to say anything.
The pounding of soldiers’ feet comes next, and I press
myself under the desk. The hallway is filled with the sud-
den shuffling of slippered feet, and when I peek out, I see
the Connies being herded by the orderlies and nurses into
their rooms. But the crowd keeps the soldiers from running
down the hall, and I say a prayer to whoever’s watching out
for me—thank you for the delay.
I slip my fingers between the collar and my neck, feeling
the heat of it. I never knew the collar burned. Now I feel
even worse about all the times my mom’s had gone off. I
wait for it to send me to my knees again, but though I can
still smell that faint burning and I hear a low, constant hum
that comes from inside my skull, I’m no longer staggering.
No more double vision. I breathe. In, out. Breathe and con-
centrate on being calm.
