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Jiu-Jitsu Girl

like kicking legs. “Jiu-Jitsu is a combat sport that focuses on
ground fighting—you know, like wrestling. Get moving.”
I glance at Mom, pleading with my eyes. Get me out of here,

I try to communicate without speaking. Maybe I can be psychic
if I try hard enough.
Nope, nothing.

Since I started three months ago, she just sits there every
class reading a book. Today it’s The Concussion Repair Manual.
(I’m hoping that’s not an omen.) She makes me do Jiu-Jitsu two
days a week—but she doesn’t even watch. I’ve told her that girls
don’t wrestle, but she says I need to develop “confidence” and

“self-defense skills.” (Insert eye roll.)
I hate it. There are so many reasons I hate Jiu-Jitsu; I wrote
them down and posted them on the chalkboard in our kitchen

so Mom can see them (and feel tormented) each and every time
she traipses in there.
1. No Personal Space
Other kids—bigger kids, smaller kids, same-size kids, you
name it—are always wrapping their sweaty arms, legs, and other

body parts around me.
2. There Are TOENAILS On The Mat
Among other things, I have seen broken-off toenails, boogers,

hair (of all different shapes, varieties, and lengths), and sweat.
DISGUSTING!
3. The Guys Are Gross
The old guys that box on the mat don’t wear shirts and are

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