Page 18 - My FlipBook

Don’t Miss This

Right now, right this minute, get your phone and stop following anyone
on social media who regularly guts your self-esteem, at least until
you finish this book. Block them, mute them, whatever you need to
do, but get off the torture train. In fact, stop paying so much attention
to society’s external mirrors, and start paying a lot more attention
to your internal reflection. You are the only one who can do this
next part, and it’s hard, but if you start trying to figure out who you
really are and what you really like now, you will save a huge amount
of time, and your anxiety will improve. The challenge is to integrate
that ideal and live it—and by no means does the process look like
anything on Instagram. One study published in the Journal of Social
and Clinical Psychology—“Seeing Everyone Else’s Highlight Reels: How
Facebook Usage Is Linked to Depressive Symptoms”—looked at how
college students’ social comparison via social media impacted their
psychological health and concluded that “people feel depressed after
spending a great deal of time on Instagram or Snapchat because
they feel bad when comparing themselves to others.” Not a lightbulb
moment for most of us, but it is useful to know that a step out of the
darkness is to put down your phone. Stop watching what other people
are posting, and go out and do some of your own stuff. And to pay
it forward, be mindful of how often you are crafting your own posts
to make it look like you are living large. Above all, please remember
this quote by the wonderful writer and coach Byron Katie: “Reality is
always kinder.” Our minds tend to go to the worst places, but reality
never feels as bad as we think it will.

Once you ground yourself in what is important to you, it is way
easier to tune out the rest of the clutter coming at you and make
some choices that will be truly productive and happy-making.

30 undecided.