Page 8 - LGBT Families
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want her parents to know that she was afraid to stand up for her
family even though she was proud of them.
Other youth react to mean or biased comments by not allowing
them to affect how they feel about themselves. They regard any
negative attitudes, whether from people they personally encounter
or from people who are speaking in a public setting, as the other
person’s problem. Kia, thirteen, has grown up with two moms. Her
moms split up when she was young, and one formed another part-
nership with another woman. Kia remembers being more bothered
by her moms’ breakup and separation than by the fact that she
has two moms. Kia has found that most people are not shocked
by her situation, but she still prepares herself for different types of
reactions. “If you ever tell somebody about your two moms and
they say mean stuff, don’t let it get to you,” Kia says. “If they are
your real friends, they won’t judge you. At
some point everybody is going to know,
and it’s going to be fi ne. It won’t be a big
“If you ever tell some- thing forever. By the next week, there will
body about your two be new drama at school.” 29
moms and they say Still others feel anger and shock at
mean stuff, don’t let it
get to you.” 29 the attitudes people express toward them
and their families. Julia Bleckner, who has
—Kia, the daughter of two moms
two moms, felt confused by laws that she
felt unfairly targeted LGBT families. “When
I was 10, I learned that my parents had
never gotten married, because same- sex marriage was illegal,”
Bleckner writes. “That didn’t compute. I had loving, dedicated
parents, yet those in power were denying them the right to be a
legal family?” This was in the years just before same- sex mar-
30
riage became legal and before adoption by LGBT people became
acceptable. Because of the laws at the time, one of her moms
could not adopt her since she was not legally married to Bleck-
ner’s biological mom. To Bleckner, the idea that the government
did not recognize her family as a family was alarming and wrong.
28